3:40 AM

May 21, 2014

As I sit here at 3:40 AM, I watch a cursor blink at me. Why is it blinking? Why am I doing this? Why am I not doing something else? I don’t know these answers, but I do know that I’m bored. Maybe this is how I cope with boredom — momentarily entertaining myself, such as I do now through these few words I write.

Maybe this is why life exists: for entertainment; maybe nothingness was uninteresting; maybe since selfhood is a conscious resistance to the unifying flow of life, by resisting sleep, I too consciously resist a flow in my life, entertaining myself and others in the process as my mental capabilities degrade from sleeplessness.

I view the world fairly allegorically, and as such, I find it easy to see similarities between myself and others. The things I see are perhaps not the same that others see, but we both translate the sum of those things into similar conceptual objects that serve to drive us in similar ways, which we then apply differently to our circumstantially different worlds, serving only to further instill similar drives in others by those same processes. Cause and effect, cause and effect, cause and effect — cause, resisting sleep; effect, navel-gazing blog entry.