History Channel

January 4, 2015

I’m sure this is a tired statement, but it’s ceaselessly amusing to me that the History Channel used to just show stale documentaries about the Second World War on repeat. Then “reality” television came en vogue, so all that documentary programming was shuffled off to a second channel, outside of basic cable packages, called History Two.

And then, once the History Channel had a bunch of old “reality” programming they could rerun, they shuffled off all that documentary stuff even farther down the channel listing to a Military History Channel.

Today, reality doesn’t sell, so it’s been replaced by “reality.” The History Channel airs specials about how all of human history is the result of aliens, who we only know exist because they left clues in the Bible. Animal Planet shows specials about secret Russian mermaid footage that’s supposedly gone viral online, but The Government doesn’t want you to see it. Half-blind retirees watch these programs and think they’re real.

For many people, “reality” has become reality, so who’s to say there’s no magic left in this world?