No future

June 12, 2014

“No future” ist mein Motto.
Ich scheiß auf Arbeit. Ich spiele Lotto.

KIZ, “Los Geht’s” excerpt

I don’t really have any goals. I sort of just… exist. I’m doing whatever. I’m doing my thing. Whatever the time is right now doesn’t matter. I don’t care if it’s ten in the morning or two in the afternoon. The less I think about living, the more I’m able to live; the less I think about the past and future, the more I’m able to think about the present.

All of the energy I have, all the energy allowing me to create or destroy things, all of it originated from the same source, with all the other energy in our universe — all of it originates from the ‘Big Bang.’ All of that energy moves through me, you, this planet, this solar system, and this universe, towards entropy. Our lives, as we know them, exist only as the smallest, most-infinitesimal fractions of our shared existence. We are all momentary assemblages of that primordial energy, and somehow, that energy seems self-aware — we’re conscious, right? What I’m trying to illustrate is that it doesn’t matter — do whatever.

Just because I don't have any goals, that doesn’t mean I’m not doing anything with my life. I’m always doing something. I work on projects that interest me; I work with passion.

Perhaps I’m more fortunate than most by being able to do what I want for a living, but I don’t see myself any more fortunate than anyone else when it comes to my free time. We all have time. Even if you work a full-time job during the day, I’m sure you still have a few hours of free time at night. Instead of spending my free time consuming something someone else made, I spend my time on my own things — I don’t spend my nights mindlessly watching TV or refreshing websites.

Anything you’re not doing, you don’t consider worth doing. Do you disagree with that statement? Do you think that passion project you’ve yet to finish, let alone start, is worth doing? If it's worth doing, why aren’t you doing it?

Obviously not all of my passions pay my bills, but that’s okay; I make enough. I live frugally. I don’t own a car, I don’t make car or insurance payments, nor do I pay for fuel. I don’t watch TV, and likewise, I don’t pay for cable. I drink water most of the time, and I don’t buy Starbucks, alcohol, or cigarettes. When I go out, I’m probably doing something free.

The above is by no means exhaustive or absolute, but those are some examples of how I save money. Why should I pay for things I don’t need or appreciate? I’ve never calculated it all, but I probably save ten thousand dollars every year by cutting out the bullshit from my life.

Maybe others find me strange or boring. That’s okay. They can think and do what they want, and I’ll think and do what I want.