Sunshine Conservation Schedule

November 2, 2015

In a hundred years, when everyone is used to their clocks automatically changing for daylight saving, one important clock somewhere out there will fail to change, or the last living person who manually changed clocks will die, departing this world before passing along their “spring ahead, fall back” knowledge.

Within two financial quarters, contemporary late-hypercapitalism will begin to destabilize. Employees across the world will find themselves divided, first noticed after some time by a lowly employee in Administrative Division 80C-D4 with a rented Apple Watch Air 8S seeing a different time on their neighboring employee’s rented Android Wear Moto 360 Z7.

As horological order further erodes biannually, corporate–government systems fracture in turn, destroying society from the top-down.

Eventually, after the time discrepancy has been elevated through proper management channels to corporate world government headquarters in Beijing, various competing timekeeping standards committees will be established for “synergistic global realignment.”

Every committee will find itself stack-ranked against the others, and if found lacking, dissolved by corporate world government. As soon as a standard looks promising, manpower will be added to its committee from the dissolved ones, stagnating progress towards a solution and intra-committee politics in turn, as every added middle manager pulls “power plays” in the hopes of seeing a promotion and increased stock options whenever the standard’s buy-out occurs.

In the end, no solution will be found, and this world of ours will once again exist beyond time.

End daylight saving.